Video Transcript
Boundaries aren’t something we were taught in school. We’re taught trigonometry and algebra. So we’re going to go through the 10 things therapists want you to know about boundaries.
- You might think boundaries are about other people. Newsflash, they’re about you. They’re about what you can take and tolerate. Just because you got a significant other don’t mean you don’t need a boundary.
- You need boundaries and romantic relationships. And in fact, you almost need them more.
- Boundaries can change over time. Just because you set a boundary at one point in your life, it doesn’t mean that you can’t reestablish the boundary and change. Somebody might say, well, you told me that X was the line. Well, guess what? Now Y is the line. I
- You can have a different boundary from one friend to another. You don’t want to get any texts from Susie after 10 PM doesn’t mean that you don’t want to get any texts from Theresa and you don’t have to really explain yourself. You have different relationships with different people.
- And this may be the hardest. You cannot make other people respect your boundaries. You can set them and then you can determine what you’re going to do if they cross them.
- If a family member’s hurting you, you deserve to set a boundary. Family boundaries can be really hard and there’s a lot going on, but I interviewed a person who said she can have both her boundaries and respect and love her family. So she has come to a place where she’s figured out what works personally for her. So figure out what’s going to work for you.
- It’s never too late to set work boundaries, okay?
- That said, there could be consequences for setting a work boundary. One, you can get passed over for promotions. Two, they might actually respect you more.
- Physical boundaries can help create emotional ones.
- Boundaries can make you feel guilty. They’re like growing pain. It is okay to have limits.
